What I've been thinking about in my spare time.

It’s pure genius! -and for me, a perfectly logical way to solve the misogynist presuppositions involving the story of Adam and Eve. And then everyone can get off every else’s back about who was in the garden and who was being ridiculous and curious and …oh …I don’t know…. HUMAN.

So. This dude god, made a man and s/he made a woman – I don’t give a shit in what order. S/he did it. And usually I like doing easy work first – just saying(I’m sorry - but whose breasts are ever even. NOBODIES). But they were just sort of human beings without much “life process”, not much “personality. Just a few bits of things that define humanity – one of them being curiosity.

So what happens is god has to dole out this child birthing bit – and because s/he admits it’s a HUGE responsibility for all of human time, it can’t be arbitrarily given. And rock paper scissors hadn’t yet been invented not to mention it’s a kind of boring as the ultimate challenge. Also, if you are gambling for some extreme body rearranging pain – I guess s/he didn’t want to admit facts yet.

So god has a wee contest, and the challenge was: which of the two individuals created would eat something they were told not to eat – without being given a reason not to. Any responsible parent would reason – don’t eat that because it’s poisonous or don’t eat that because you’ll screw your sex with extreme pain and horrid responsibility forever.
But to peek interest – god kept it a secret like the sadistic tradition of Christmas present. “No Sally, don’t go in the closet”.

Anywho – through no fault, not even that of curiosity (which is how one learns… by the way – it’s not some evil instigator or uncontrolled sexual impulse and a way into complete and absolute hell because we’ll all start fires and pillage towns if we ever found out the capabilities of the world… when used with good judgment(ex – the atomic bomb)) the apple was eaten.

As we all know Eve ate the apple. Because she was curious (that serpent bit… was added to the bible by someone on drugs, like that guy who wrote Alice in Wonderland. Disturbed)

So – A WOMAN (singular) lost the challenge. And the moral of the story is that we should all be careful of our actions lest the screw tonnes of other people for all of eternity *cough Hitler*. Also because we never know which turds in this world will mass generalize a lesson to subjugate a sex for a long fucking time.
I would also like to point out that Eve said it was delicious and told Adam to try it which he did and then Eve baked an apple pie and well heck – I’ll forgive her for giving me ovaries for the superb deliciousness that is apple pie.

So when you see a sign that says “It’s not Adam and Steve” or “It’s not Sandy and Eve” or some other combination of names, it’s because it was god's challenge to decide who was birthing – and one can’t challenge two members of one sex. So in a way they are right. And perhaps you’d like to inform them of it – giving my very educated and informed opinion as to the reason why. Then tell them about evolution.

And if anyone who reads this misinterprets what I just said and for some reason becomes the power of authority and bases the whole of humanity of some crap interpretation of my most diligent insight I’ll come back from the dead – and I won’t be as nice as Jesus.